A Year of Faith

So I figure I've waited about as long as I can into 2014 and still make a "New Year" post.  I've been procrastinating.  Not because I haven't known what to write or that I'm putting off the work; it is just that I'm not a huge fan of what I'm about to write.  As I've prayed through this season, the one thing that keeps coming up again and again is the theme of faith. As I've written about before, faith is one of those things that I try not to ask God for.  It always seems like He is more than willing to help out with that one and more often than not, you're left wearing a barrel held up by suspenders and living on the street.  No offense to Job but it has just never been an exciting prospect to me.

But over the last few months I've spent time camping out in Hebrews 11.  Reading through that chapter and also reading through some of the backstories about the people mentioned in that chapter.  All of them had their barrel and suspenders moments.  But at the end of the day, they all had amazing stories where they were used by God.  And stories without tension and struggle aren't really stories at all.  We have to come to trust that the Author knows what he is doing.  Isn't that the crux of Christianity?  In the words of N.D. Wilson, we can realize that we're in a Shakespearean play and we can trust Shakespeare.

So after three weeks of wrestling through the theme of this new year, I'm not as daunted by saying that this year will be characterized by faith.

Faith to pickup and move overseas.  Faith to trust that financial support will all fall into place.  Faith that coffee will grow up from the ground, and faith that we can learn a language and minister to those who have never heard the Gospel.

So bring on the barrel and suspenders.

Adding To

I’ve had a lot of conversations with Luv-Luv and others over the past week, and I’ve realized that one of the hardest things about living overseas and missions is that there are very few things that are concrete.  The language and culture don’t make sense, daily tasks like buying food are confusing and take forever, and measurable can be really vague (I mean, what does making disciples look like on a daily basis anyway?) For those of us who are task driven, it makes living overseas really hard. One of the things I’ve noticed is that whether we’re overseas or not we tend to take something that God called us to and take it one step further, which often makes it more concrete and tangible.  That in itself isn’t a bad thing, it can just become a very slippery slope.  I would often misinterpret things like:

-“Try to eat what the locals eat” would become “only eat what the locals eat.”

-“Don’t spend all your time with Americans” became “don’t spend any time with Americans”

-“Don’t go home until you get over culture shock, which takes about a year and a half” became “Don’t go home for a year and a half.” (My wife and I are currently working through this one…)

And I still believe that each of these principles are good advice for anyone living overseas.  The problem is that we often take something good and  make the burden heaver.  We long for the concrete.  If you ever want to see someone fall, just add to the command.  And that’s true, whether you live in India or Indiana.  And it has been true since the very beginning.

In Genesis 2:17, God tells Adam not to eat the fruit from the tree of knowledge.  In the very next chapter, the serpent asks Eve what God said and she told him “not to eat from the tree nor touch it.”  She added to the command and made the burden heavier.  And needlessly making the burden heavier has been going on ever since: whether it is Pharisees, Puritans or Prohibition.  And when the burden becomes heavier, we often fall.

I often want to tell Christ, “Your burden is too easy and your yoke is a little too light.  Let me add a few more things to it.”  And one of the hardest things for me, whether overseas or at home, becomes truly finding joy in the freedom and not getting caught in the trap of legalism.  Taking things like the principles above for what they are, just principles, and not making them the purpose.  Trying to learn how to enjoy the vastness of the Great Commission.  So if my wife looks up at me after several months overseas and says, “I want to go home and see my family at Christmas”, then we talk through that and not strain under the legalism that came from a good principle.

From Security to Faith

One of the biggest themes that I’ve been wrestling with lately is faith.  Faith is one of those things that I don’t like to ask God to increase (also humility and patience fall in this category), because He is always more than willing and it will never be a fun process.  My wife and I had planned on going back overseas at some point this next year to work alongside Luv-Luv, and a few months ago I really began to pray about this and ask God to increase our faith as we look towards going. As I’ve prayed over the past few months, we’ve seen a lot of doors open and made great connections both in the US and in South East Asia.  Our last board meeting ended with some of us talking about how we are much farther down the road than we ever planned to be at this point.  Great things are happening and it seems like God is moving.

And then I lost my job.  Like I said before, never ask for more faith.

It has actually been a huge blessing.  Not just the ‘it’s a huge blessing’ that you tell people to make yourself feel better, but really, it has been.  The church that I worked for and I parted on good terms, and I’m now free to do what I love, which is being involved in Underground Coffee and getting back overseas.  One of the biggest questions I’ve had all year is “When am I going to have time to connect with all of these people and churches that I’ve met?”  Now I have all the time I need.

As I’ve continued praying through all of this, I’ve come to the realization that for the past several years I’ve been operating out of a position of security and not of faith.  I’ve been perfectly safe to sit back here in America and be involved with UCI, collecting a paycheck from my real job, and not worrying about having a roof over my head.  All of those things are important, and as my wife will tell you, they WILL be in place before we head to Asia, but now we have to step out on faith to see it happen.  We’ve always said that first we’ll get the money lined up, then we’ll commit to go.  It seems that God is flipping that and saying, “Commit to go and the money will line up.”

It is a very different place to operate out of faith instead of security.  I’m not looking at this with haste or panic (at least not yet), but instead looking at it with the faith that God has brought us this far and He’ll provide for us as we need it.

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1